


Through Their Eyes

by PattRose



Category: John Doe (TV)
Genre: Angst, Celebration of Life, Gen, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1667021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What exactly is a Celebration of Life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Their Eyes

Through Their Eyes  
By PattRose

Summary: What exactly is a celebration of life?   
Note: Nothing beats a celebration of life story, right?   
Warnings: Angst  
Characters: John Doe, Digger, Frank Hayes, Jamie Avery, Stella and last but not least, Karen Kawalski’s spirit lives on.   
Genre: Gen  
Rating: Teen  
Word Count: 2538

Digger had almost come up with the great idea to celebrate, Karen’s short life and that was to close the bar, and have a party for everyone that meant anything to Karen. Digger and John had baked and cooked food all day long so that everyone would be able to eat and drink. John was very sad, to say the least and noticed that Digger was the quietest he’d ever been in his life. 

It was a cold, rainy day, so perfect for the dreary feelings they were both feeling at that moment. John decided to strike up a conversation with Digger and see if they could put themselves in a happier mood by the time everyone else showed up for the ceremony. 

Karen had been cremated and buried at the cemetery almost two weeks ago, but Digger just couldn’t seem to let it go. John decided to give him the idea of having the party for closure. Digger thought it was a good idea and went with it. They had invited only the closest of friends, ones that knew Karen and loved her as Digger and John did. So, it was going to be a small party, but it didn’t matter. They all loved Karen and couldn’t wait to tell their favorite stories about her. 

John had come up with the idea that each person would spend at least ten minutes telling everyone else what he thought of Karen. Their friends all agreed to it and had put the plan in action. 

Jamie had practiced her little speech about Karen for two days. Stella had done the same. Both of them wished they could bring killers to justice, but instead they would honor Karen on this special day and remember her for the rest of their lives. 

The celebration was going to take place at 4:00. It was almost that time now and John was getting antsy already. He wished he had something to say that would help Digger feel better. Or maybe John wished he could say something that would make himself feel better about the loss of Karen. 

At exactly four o’clock, the door opened and in walked, Jamie, Stella and Frank. Digger went and shut and locked the door and welcomed everyone to his establishment. 

“Good evening, everyone,” John said. 

“I wouldn’t call it good,” Frank pointed out. 

“That’s a very good point, Frank. I couldn’t agree with you more,” Digger said. 

Stella walked up and hugged Digger, which surprised him a bit. He wasn’t expecting a hug from someone he hardly even knew. If it wasn’t for John, he wouldn’t know any of these people. He would only know, Karen. She was the only person he ever let into his life. She nudged her way into his heart and it was for good. 

Stella, smiled a sad smile and said, “I’m so sorry for your loss, Digger. She was such a good person. Such a joy to be around. I didn’t know her as well as some of you did, but I really enjoyed her company when I was around her.”

“I’m glad that you got to meet her,” Digger answered. 

John cleared his throat and said, “We’re going to have the ceremony first, then drinking and eating last. Each of us is going to take a turn saying something about Karen that you’ll always remember about her.”

Jaime said, “I’d like to go first. I’m a little nervous about speaking here today. I’ve never done anything like this. In fact, I’ve never heard of anything like this before. But, I like the idea of celebrating her life. Karen was so young. She should have outlived all of us and yet, she’s gone. To say it’s not fair, isn’t good enough. It’s a fucking sin that she was taken before any of us. She smiled every time I saw her, even if she was nervous or worried, she still found the strength to smile and make everyone feel good. A few times, I wished I would have had a child just like her and then there were the times that I was glad I didn’t. She could be a big pain in the hind end. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like her. All that means is that I’m human and she was too. And I think for this, I’m grateful because she reminded us that we are human and continues to do it even in her death. She was a beautiful girl, so filled with life, love and artistic talent. No one could have seen the world quite like she did. I loved her paintings. It was how she looked at life, and it was pure and simple and loving. She helped me become a much better person in the short time I knew her. I’m very grateful that I was able to be in her life and she in mine. We miss you, Karen. Now, I think I’ve said enough. I would like to pass this over to Stella.” Jamie sat down, wrapping her arms around herself, in grief. John moved over and hugged her gently and just as quickly moved away. He knew that he couldn’t fall apart this soon. 

Stella stood up with tears in her eyes, one tear escaping down her left cheek. Stella didn’t try and stop it or wipe it. She figured it was meant to be there for Karen. Karen, the sweet young artist that never hurt anyone in her life. Stella finally opened up her mouth to speak and almost whispered, “Is it all right that I miss her being here? It feels wrong, you know. Jamie was right. She was such a joy to have around. No matter where she was or what she was doing, she always seemed to find something good to say about someone or something. She never once made fun of the fact that I spend almost all of my free time in front of a computer. She never called me a nerd or geek like I have been called in the past. Instead, she pulled me out of my shell a little each time and shared her special personality with me. I really liked her. I call her friend and truly mean it. I miss her and truly mean that too. She would have gone so far with her artistic talent. I know this to be true. We’re all going to miss her beauty and her grace that came out in her paintings. I have tried to make some new friends at work, because Karen once told me that I was too alone. I needed a person to talk to now and then. So, that’s what I’ve been trying to do. I hope someday to have a family and I’ll tell them all about Karen. She was so special, I never want her memory to stop with just us. We need to carry it on to our children and our children’s children. They can all learn from what she did, what she said and what she taught us. I know that I’m not as afraid anymore. I know that there might be someone out there that is just right for me. But, even if I don’t find anyone, it doesn’t matter. I’ve learned these things and I’m a better person for them. Now, I’ll pass this on to Frank.” It was now Stella’s turn to hug herself, except that Digger was the one that hugged her. And there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. 

Frank stood up and walked towards the rest of them and just stood there. He realized he didn’t even know where to begin. So, he thought maybe he would start at the end. “Do you realize that my children didn’t meet Karen until after she was gone? How sad is that. They always wonder what type of girl she was and why their dad liked her so much. They know that Karen painted like no other and thought she had a lovely portfolio. I took it home and shared it with them. They weren’t sad, and this made me sad. Why didn’t I bring them over to meet her before it was too late? Why do we always do things when it’s too late? I never told her how much I respected her artwork and how hard she worked at it. I never got a chance to tell her how much I liked her as a person. So, when I think about Karen, I feel loss. It’s selfish, I know. But, it’s my loss. I lost a friend and didn’t get a chance to tell her that she meant the world to me. I’m jealous of anyone that had the brains to know that they needed to tell her before it was too late. I miss her and wish that we had another chance to do it all over again. I would have hugged her and told her that she was a good kid. She was worth her weight in gold and she meant the world to all of us. I just wish we could do this again.” Frank slumped into his chair and John sat next to him and hugged him. 

Digger stood up, not one bit embarrassed of his red rimmed eyes. He didn’t care what anyone thought, anyhow. He only cared about how he felt about Karen that day. That fateful day that they lost her. He was lost when she left them. “I don’t even know where to start. I know Karen much more than any of you, but yet, I kept her at bay. I was mean to her most of the time and tried to teach her through tough love. I would give anything to be able to take that all back and try again. Frank, I so agree with you about having a do-over. We could all start again and do it right this time. She was an angel. She found something good in everyone she met. She never hurt anyone in her life and would have protected any of us, if we needed that. She might have been young, but it didn’t matter, she had an old soul. One that seemed to know what was going on and what needed to be said and done. She guided me in more ways than one. I never would have listened to John to start off with, because I thought he was nuts. But, Karen thought he had something that was worth believing in. She believed in all of you. She talked of all of you often to me and I’ll treasure those talks. I miss her more today than I did two weeks ago. Someone told me it gets easier, but it doesn’t. I think sometimes we are just given a hard task and have to take it to heart. I loved her like a daughter and I wish I would have let her know how I felt. I’ll never get over this loss and feeling of emptiness.”

Digger moved away from the center of the group and they all realized that it was John’s turn to talk. No one was really looking forward to John’s ramblings on this day. Something that might take away from the actual ceremony. 

“We have all done this incorrectly. We’re supposed to be celebrating Karen’s life, not complaining because she isn’t in ours anymore. We have to do this right. I’ll show you what I mean. When I first met her, she had no time for me feeling sorry for myself. She could have felt sorry for herself if she really wanted to, but it wasn’t her way. Instead, she pointed out all of the good things that were happening. One of the first things she pointed out to me, was how Digger was becoming a good friend. She was right. At the time, I thought she was nuts, but as time went on, I realized she knew much more than her years on this earth. She once pointed out that Digger would someday be my best friend in the world, aside from Frank. And then she told me that Jamie and Stella were going to be there too. She opened my eyes to see the fact that I had made a family. I didn’t know if I had a family or not, so I created one that I could live with. You all are my family. So was Karen. Every day when I got home from work, I never knew if my loft would be painted another color, not that I could tell anyway, or if she painted murals on the walls or whatever. Life was never dull with her. She kept me hopping and filled with love. I in turn took over as her friend and family member and talked her into things she didn’t feel secure about. She had issues, also. It wasn’t just us. She was a mess, but she was our mess, damn it. And yes, it sucks that she’s gone, but I refuse to let sadness take her place. We used to have a happy human in that place. Are we going to allow the sadness to take over her spot in our lives? I for one, am going to put up a fight. I’m going to remember the times when I yelled at her and then hugged her later. Or the times when I yelled at her and never got to say I was sorry. It’s all going to be my memory of Karen and I want it all. Good, bad, sad and depressing. I’ll take it all. I don’t know about any of you, but I’m not going to cry. I’m going to rejoice in the fact that we had the time we had with her. Think of all the people that aren’t here, that never got to meet this wonderful person. She was a joy and shall remain a joy in my life. I’ve got a spot in my heart saved just for her. Anyone else?”

John stood there and waited. Digger hugged John and said, “I’ve got a spot for her too and I’m not going to forget her either. Thanks, for the kick in the ass, John.”

John smiled and so did Digger. Frank was next. “I needed that kick in the ass too, John. Thank you.”

Stella and Jaime hugged everyone and Jaime asked, “Did someone mention drinking and food? I think that it would be nice if we all told stories about what we enjoyed about her. We don’t have to make it sad at all. This is a celebration. Thank you, John.”

Digger began to make them all drinks and the food was on the tables. Everyone got food and drinks and sat down at the big table. They talked and laughed and cried all night long. But, it was a proper celebration of life. Yes, Karen had been there and would be missed and would be forever in their hearts. 

The end


End file.
